PEANUT GALLERY

Masters 2021: Overheard from the (limited) gallery at Augusta National on Wednesday

By Alex Myers  

JD Cuban

It was another beautiful day at Augusta National, which meant more perfect conditions for me to creep on patrons attending the 2021 Masters. Kidding. Sort of. Anyway, here were some of the favorite things I heard on the eve of the year's first men's major championship.

"I wish this guy could come cut my grass." Agree. My yard is a disaster right now.

"Look at this grass! Look at this tree! It's beautiful!" Again, agree!

"It's so weird there's no Par 3 contest this year. SO. WEIRD." Perhaps, but now there's more time to hit up the merch shop. Speaking of which. . .

"Let's go swing by the golf shop. Just to get an idea of what they have." You might want to hurry because they're already almost out of all those cool sandwich shirts. And then a few hours later. . .

"That's why we shopped early," said a savvy patron while observing a huge line just to get into the store.

"What's the lowest you've ever gone?" "Well, on nine holes. . . " And just like that, there was an addition to the pre-tournament press conference schedule.

"Sorry, dude. I got delayed." Actually, that was Phil Mickelson, who was so late for his practice tee time with Bryson DeChambeau that another group got to play through. At least they didn't lose their spot altogether like your weekend foursome might have. Speaking of Bryson. . .

"Would you look at him, wow! The last time I saw him he wasn't even that big!" Yeah, that was probably 376,000 protein shakes ago.

"Is that. . . Jack Nicklaus?!" Why yes, it is. Oh, the people you'll see at Augusta National.
 
"We're so old, we're going to need several breaks to make it all the way around the back nine." Same here. In case you haven't heard, Augusta National is "HILLIER THAN IT LOOKS ON TV."

"I work for a local bank." You don't say? This could have been said by 99 percent of the people at the Masters.

"Walking doesn't bother him. It's the bending." A patron watching Brooks Koepka strut up the 17th fairway. Suddenly, everyone's a doctor.

"And that's really the key to life." Damn. Wish I hadn't missed the first part.

"Thank god it was still hairy!" OK, glad I missed the first part of that.

MORE MASTERS STORIES FROM GOLFDIGEST.IE:

• Masters 101—Everything you need to know about The Masters at Augusta National  

• At Augusta, the jockeying for position begins with practice rounds 

 Twenty years ago, Tiger Woods faced more pressure than any golfer in history 

 Paul McGinley thinks Bryson DeChambeau is the one to watch at the Masters  

 Coming off knee surgery, Brooks Koepka shows up for practice at Augusta

 Lee Elder reflects on his extraordinary life as he preps for another historic first at Augusta National  

 Collin Morikawa's yardage book reveals the work pros put in to prep for Augusta National  

• The entire 2021 Masters field, ranked 

• How to win a green jacket in 7 simple steps

• Augusta prepares for yet another new-look tournament

• Our 13 best bets to win the 2021 Masters  

• 50 defining moments in Masters history, ranked 

• When should a past champion call it a career at Augusta?  

•  Dustin Johnson unveils Masters Champions Dinner menu and it includes the king of appetisers

• 9 famous Masters myths—separating fact from fiction  

• The most memorable rules issues in Masters history 

• Eddie Pepperell is living dangerously with this wager on Jordan Spieth winning the Masters  

• What’s it like to play at Augusta National as a guest  

 Does Dustin Johnson’s Masters win deserve an asterisk?  


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